Why Are You Never Afraid...

Hello Beautifuls**!!

We're on holiday and hoping that you guys have had an incredible time with family, filled with love and all things that you understand to be love and an expression of love!! (This Is Christmas to me...)

So while we've been in KZN I've found myself in many awkward positions that I couldn't quite answer but, the most perplexing was 'why are you never afraid', the question was asked while having lunch. Today.

I thought the question was odd until hubbs mentioned that, the asking of me and my habits was actually not weird nor awkward but a normative.


Perhaps going back to the question was my beginning, why did this beautiful boy ask me such a loaded question? We'd spoken about my ventures in general - the bike, on foot, in hike etc but then we got to the most interesting bits, where I was telling them about how I don't actively consume sugar and the preferences - considering i'm not a small girl by nature yet here we are.

So, the short of my answer was, 'My love, we are not born with fear - it is a learned trait', he says, what does that mean? I say 'I  live, live without fear, everything that makes you even the least bit afraid, throw yourself into it- we're made for all of it'', as his parents grabbed him embarrassed and apologised profusely, was me, unapologetic, and wondering, what would life look like, if we didn't go forward as a nation so afraid.


So here we are, in this post,


I know what fear looks like because I've faced poverty like no one else might ever understand but, some,  might comprehend even further than my understanding.


Yet,

Here I am,



In this space that has dragged me to the reckoning of the God - my God, a place where his existence is mine. Right here you might insert your higher power.

So whats the story about fear, it was the choosing of not making other peoples fears my own, we were all born differently, living differently, choosing differently, and becoming differently.

I'm a product of a space I've never seen, never experienced and never actively lived in.


I've chosen LIFE. I dive (with Sharks), I Freedive, I run (with a heart with a hole), I hike, I pitch up at meetings afraid in the physical but far from in the natural.


So why am I never afraid?


Im reminded of the many butterflies that one encounters on every long drive, either towards the coast in Durban or the large mountains towards Sabie, assuming you're a Joburger.
The encounter is the same, a mass exodus of life, I often liken my life to the assumption that life, because we have not fully comprehended the idea of time, this means we are mortal to our own comprehension. I think the human life is like a butterfly. Short.


I'm told the human intelligence is the  greatest - I'm not so sure considering dolphins are having the time of their lives...  we all know I'm as much a participant to its end.

For this reason I realise, that,

Life is for the living, it is as futile as the many butterflies we encounter on the highway.

The striving towards the longest is futile, but, its only a question of the organ that beats between these hard laden lungs...



What is to be ... a girl.. or a body, essentially a temple,
a temple,
whose function,
was never explained to any,
if nothing else, worship.
and what is worship,
for,
 if being present in every single moment,
living for every single moment that matters and choosing to exist in a manner that not only preserves you,
but preserves humanity greater than its ability to preserve you, because after all, its human,

I think this answers the question,


Xx