Choose love..

So, in the past week, I had an opportunity to reflect on love and what it means to those around you, those you love, and most importantly, to yourself.. I came to a place that whispered that as much as I've adored Serena's wedding, and what I think was the courage it took for her to step out and choose love, in a world that could present anything but, she chose faith, which is love..








Brought me back to the reminder that, love cannot be given, if it doesn't exist within self.. you cannot give what you do not have.. and if fabricated, it eventually comes to light, that the dark creaks within you, require light.. to be seen.. cleaned out.. and repurposed for good.. before you can allow that space to belong to anyone else..





I'd like to share a story.. a little ago (also known as about 2 years ago since I last actively mountain biked), I cycled.. so much.. hundreds of kilometers on days at at a time.. this time in my life taught me many things,

1. When I started cycling, I didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone else, I needed the time to focus on this love, be present, and trust it.. just to journey without distractions..
2. I didn't want to mess with the routine that cycling and I had, I wanted to wake and ride without needing to worry about breakfast for the loved other or what romantic movies teach us.. 'waking to dreamy others looking dreamy'.. I couldn't be that so I didn't want to create the expectation..
3. I have an inability to have 2 extreme loves, at the same time.. I just cannot, my heart is too demanding for split time..

So, why am I sharing this... what relevance does it have to this post? Mountain biking taught me the most important thing I've learnt to date (not underestimating any other lesson I've learnt) but as I've grown, I've learnt, and perhaps this is the lesson that tells my greatest story at this present moment,

* Commit fully, or don't commit at all *

Ask any mountain biker, at the foot of a drop downhill, a crazy switch back, an intense technical track, a rock drop off, a slippery single track after the rain has had its way.. you know what you know, but when you stand at the precipice of courage.. an unknown space, where you know you can, but have had a few seconds of questioning self.. the seconds between descending, the seconds before dropping off.. the seconds before you move off the last stable piece of the decision, and you grab hold of the tree and choose to walk the technical route cause the fear is in your mouth.. or the moment when you decide to let love without fear live, and untrustingly choose to pursue.. you fall.. each time (even while you walk).. but the fall because of the greater risk.. is crazy hectic.. its harder, it hurts a shit load.. and each time, a mountain biker will always know, if you cannot commit fully, don't commit at all, and the race day is generally not the time to be as adventurous.. well, that was my feeling anyway..

So I sit here, often, at the precipice of jumping and then I stop and all my insecurities come to light and I choose to not.. I wait for the day I've earned 'it'..  but I also choose to not be that anymore.. I choose everyday though I don't win everyday.. I choose me, I choose love.. love for self before anyone else,


My last posts have spoken a lot about the courage to love.. the courage to be.. the courage to choose self.. it doesn't mean there aren't days when you doubt self, but I'm reminded always, to discard the fear.. and choose love.. and choose me.. because the things I love, have loved, and will love will always require courage.. just because I've always loved pushing self to the limit.. if I'm to live the life I'm meant to live.. courage becomes the only currency that matters, after consistency.

I hope you have a good week beautifuls**!

Xx