Anxiety and her Friends

Hello Beautifuls!!

I hope you've had an awesome start to the week and properly smash your goals this week**!!

I experienced something I’d never last week and felt the need to share : anxiety at a level like never before.

So, first things first it’s important to mention that I’ve never really battled anxiety until very recently - say the last 5 months, built around various tensions but pretty much questioning my whole life space..

So I got a massage on Saturday - during the massage, I was experiencing the most intense anxiety... it felt paralyzing and wondered if anyone else had battled the same, in retrospect I realise that was an alarm bell for me.

So the massage was in a tented area, outdoors kind of vibe where all of nature essentially was calling to you,

As the massage started, all was great until the first fly flew in, eyes closed as you hear it hover very close to your face/body and all around at close proximity, all while, my head was swirling through questions of my choices, what I wanted to be, society and her norms, this irritating fly that’s twerking on my face, the inability to touch my zen, and as if all that was not enough, the massage itself was just not great.. and then a whole new rush of thoughts.. the heat.. the anxiety.. the response to an ugly message I'd received, the correcting, retyping, correcting, retyping, why this beautiful tranquil place had no pest control or air conditioners and if it was cost, my perceived average of the acceptable shared across all patrons .. all in my head was this frantic buzz , and the one constant...  the all consuming fly buzzing around me. The last of my intense state was my 2 seconds from walking out but then thought that would be impolite.. this only added to my anxiety.

I was a stress ball in the midst of a massage.

The feeling was paralyzing, after the massage, I feared knowing what it would have morphed to had I not sorted my work stresses out earlier in the month... I possibly would have lost it..

This has no massive aha moment, perhaps only the realization of the importance of understanding and acknowledging where you are when you are.. this allows you to be able to heal and seek shelter to rest your laden mind and soul should you need. Allow nothing to taunt you to your worst. Allow nothing to threaten the magic that lives within you. Allow nothing to stuff fear into your system without your permission. See it, work through it, never give into it and always choose you. You’re your greatest weapon against self destruction.

Mass love.

You’re incredible.

Xx