Pause, Exhale.

Hello beautifuls!! 

Hope you’re keeping well and have had a beautiful week thus far,

I wrote earlier on the gram about 2019 for me thus far, the loss of a 6-year long relationship, the loss of a partner in business which also had casualties on the business and just how I’ve felt that the last 8 weeks had been a lot, and I felt bare.

The moment where I pause and reflect on this state of mind is here, sometimes you shed, not knowing it’s time to shed, and while you stand bare, more exposed than ever, questioning your ability to withstand the storm, your new skin starts to grow back, smoother, more resilient, and just stronger against the elements.

It is in this growth that one pauses to reflect then exhale, that what was, might not have suit anymore, not the function nor the space, understanding the requirements for your survival often means making very hard decisions.

These decisions are questioned for months after they happen, pegged against family and societies expectations that despite it all, you should still make it, but sometimes arriving on the other side of the mountain broken, malnourished, blind and disfigured is not any way to arrive anywhere, and self-preservation can also be first.

Speaking to my grandmother about the relationship aspect was silence, followed by a few 

concerns she’d had, and then the words I needed to hear ‘I release you, your happiness is more important than anything in the world to me. Some girls are meant to marry, some are not. Either is fine with me, as long as you’re happy’ as she hugged me.

 I now realize that sometimes we stand in the storm way longer than we should, fearing that stepping inside into the house would intimate weakness, but sometimes stepping inside is taking refuge in the wisdom of the land.

Have a stunning week loves,

Xx